A universe of beauty, mystery and wonder

A universe of beauty, mystery and wonder

Friday, January 2, 2015

SATIRE - CHANGE IN US MIDEAST PRIORITIES from fighting terror to having US consulate staff roaming over the Israeli countryside in an armed convoy threatening Israelis with big guns over the safety of olive trees - The US making the world a safer place.

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SATIRE by Zbigniew Zwgstkstwig

Christians and other minorities in Iraq and Syria have been making desperate calls for years to the White House for help against rape, torture, and murder at the hands of Muslims in the Middle East.  The White House's switchboard operator dutifully takes down their messages and promises to get back to them, eventually.  

Palestinians call the US Consulate in Jerusalem about a dispute with Jews over olive trees and immediately consulate staff - without consulting with Israeli authorities - mount an armed convoy and proceed to an area under Israeli military control.  

An argument ensued about US consular staff taking sides and meddling into an internal disagreement between Jewish and Arab farmers.  Whatever the Americans said only served to provoke some Israelis who resorted to throwing stones at the convoy.  The Americans drew their M16 and other guns and pointed them at the Jews. 

Arguments and rock throwing are common events.  The question why US consular staff are policing areas of Jewish-Arab disagreement over trees is rather unclear.
Thankfully, a  retired US army general friend of mine cleared up my confusion.


The US Army has withdrawn in defeat from hot spots in the Middle East. 
Too tough dealing with terrorists and unfriendly locals. 
However, bullying Israelis always makes the White House feel good.  And so here is the latest chapter US bullying of Israel.

How my friend Mike, a US general, 
explains the new US Mideast policy
 I phoned my friend Mike, a retired US general, for clarification.  Tell me this is just more media misinformation, I said.

Mike hurrumphed, and then with all seriousness said: What you read is absolutely correct.  Olive trees have rights too, and we - with our military power second to none - have the obligation to protect them. 

Wait a minute, Mike, I interrupted.  You mean to tell me that with the ongoing massacres of Christians and the advance of ISIS and the bloodshed in Syria and Iraq you guys are now PROTECTING TREES?

Felled olive trees
US cavalry to the aid of these trees
Exactly, said Mike, with an offended tone.  You don't expect us to take care of every single conflict in the world, do you?  In spite of our military prowess our financial means are rather limited, and so we need to pick our battles. 
And Mike continued:  Going into the ME and fighting Muslims is expensive and it creates a lot of backlash, believe me.  And it's complicated stuff.  We don't even now who the good guys are anymore.  

Protecting olive trees from Jews, however - Mike added - has no undesirable consequences whatsoever.  Jews are unpopular.  Nothing new there.   And there's no chance of backlash from them.  No fatwas, no terror, no bombs, no 9/11 in return, no cyber attacks. They're like puppies eager to please us. 

Yeah, it takes a lot of courage to pick on them, I thought.

The point is, said Mike, that acting tough with Israel makes us not only feel good, but also look good in the eyes of the Arab world.  It works every time.  And it's easier and cheaper than intervening to save a few hundred thousand victims of Muslim persecution - an action that could imply that we agree that there is persecution and intolerance in Islam, and thus offend our Muslim friends.
I was at a loss for words, but I tried anyway: 

As an American I was under the impression that we always stood for what is right and moral, I said, and that we protect nations threatened by big powers.   Aren't the SIX million Israeli Jews threatened by 1.5 BILLION Muslims worthy of protection?
Well, sure, said Mike.  But we are also practical folks and we have to stand for the interests of the American people first and foremost.  Unfortunately moral principles sometimes have to be put aside.  If that means throwing the Israelis under the bus, so be it.  It wouldn't be the first time, and the Israelis will just have to understand.  It's not personal, it's politics. 
But why protect olive trees, for Pete's sake, I said, running out of patience.
Easy.  Shooting at Israelis for no reason would look bad, you know.  Congress would have a fit.  And anyway that's what we finance and arm the Palestinians for.  They do the job.  But if we shoot Israelis in defense of olive trees that Arab claim as theirs, that's very different.  We would have the entire environmental movement on our side.  And the Muslims.  All 1.5 billion of them.
Copyright Zbigniew Zwgstkstwig

Read more on the actual news behind the satire - Yes, it really happened.  And an update with local authorities demanding the expulsion of US consular staff that threatened Israeli citizens with guns.

Obama's Idiotic Perception Israel-Palestinian peace toon

The news behind the satire

Security guards from the United States Consulate on Friday afternoon clashed with Jewish residents near the community of Adei Ad, located in the Binyamin region.

Arutz Sheva learned that two vehicles belonging to the consulate arrived at the community without coordination with residents.

Locals then tried to make sense of the actions of the American security guards, at which point, officials said, an argument developed and the Americans pulled out a gun and an M16.

A security official stressed in a conversation with Arutz Sheva that the guards arrived in the area without any coordination with the IDF and the police, at the invitation of local Arabs who had a conflict with Jews regarding the uprooting of olive trees.

Read more:


Local authority demands expulsion of US Consular staff who threatened Israelis with guns

Acting Head of the Samaria Regional Council, Yossi Dagan, has filed a request to the Minister of the Interior Gilad Erdan demanding he immediately expel the American Consulate staff members who entered the Samaria village of Adei Ad Friday and threatened Israeli Jews with an M-16. 

"As revealed through Wikileaks few years ago, these supposed 'officials' are intelligence agents and spies in every respect," said Dagan, adding "this time, they went too far and participated in a provocative tour with the Palestinians in the southern Samaria and north Binyamin, without any coordination as required with the IDF and police, and pulled out a firearm and threatened Israeli civilians."

"This is a crossing of all red lines," he continued. "This event could have descended easily into bloodshed and only as a result of the settlers' responsible behavior was [a scenario like that] prevented."  

"I request that in view of the serious and criminal conduct, that these [US] security guards and officials be deported," he added. 

"If Israeli intelligence officials and armed Israeli security guards stationed in one of the Israeli consulates in the United States had participated in a political provocation without any coordination with the police and threatened American citizens with weapons, at best, they would be arrested and deported, and the more likely case would be them spending several years in federal prison."

It is unclear exactly what prompted the incident at Adei Ad Friday, but reports say that several consulate officials arrived with armed guards at the community to investigate Palestinian Arabs' claims of vandalism of a nearby olive orchard. 

An argument erupted between the convoy and the community's security guards, as all official visits to Jewish communities in Judea-Samaria must be coordinated with the IDF and police - a protocol the consulate allegedly ignored. At least one of the American guards allegedly pulled out his handgun and M-16 during the course of the argument. 



Arabs and their leftist friends caught on film framing Jews for the destruction of trees
Felled olive trees
Arabs on Monday were caught red-handed cooking up another “tree libel” against Jewish residents of Samaria. The Arabs were seen cutting down olive trees and demolishing fences in an Arab olive grove near Har Bracha in Samaria, apparently intending to blame the damage on Jews.

Two volunteers working with the Samaria Residents Council caught the vandals on film. The volunteers were on special patrol, after Council director Benny Katsover urged Jewish residents of the area to watch out for Arab provocations during the olive harvest season,.a modern take on the “blood libels” of the Middle Ages.
Read more
Olive harvest 'blood libel' in Samaria
The Jews did it
Blood libel in Israel - The yearly blaming of Jews for trees that Arabs themselves uproot as anti-Jewish propaganda.
This epidemic of framing Jews for tree vandalism has gotten so bad that Jews need to arm themselves with cameras to catch leftists and Arabs cutting their own trees in the middle of the night.
Read more

CIA operatives in Israel
Leaked CIA manual telling operatives how to avoid scrutiny at Israeli airport

Further thoughts

To be fair, the US has sometimes done a lot of good in the world. 
The US rebuilt Europe after World War II, contributing to its transformation into a such a prosperous, generous and welcoming continent that terrorists and their friends find it irresistible.  

Muslims have little in common with Europeans, except a shared visceral hatred against the Jews.  That alone makes them feel at home in Britain, France, and the rest of the European Union.
Muslims rioting in Sweden
Muslims thanking the Swedes for their hospitality - every day.

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