SATIRE By The Daily Currant
Russia has seen a massive drop in obesity rates and related diseases since it banned food imports from the United States and Europe.
Moscow has halted imports of sodas, candy, junk food and other processed food from the West in retaliation for economic sanctions on its oil and banking sectors.
The sudden unavailability of processed Western foods — notorious for unhealthy amounts of trans-fats, salt, sugars, artificial flavors, and high-fructose corn syrup — has created an unexpected health and fitness boom as Russians turn to more nutritious foods.
Obesity has become a major health problem in Russia since the fall of the Soviet Union, especially since Western fast-food chains have rushed to open local franchises.
Outside Moscow’s first McDonald’s on Pushkin Square, protesters have demanded it be shut down and replaced with an organic food market.
Twenty-four hour gyms across the country have seen a surge in new members, with 99.9 percent keeping their membership instead of quitting after a month.
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